1/10/12-ish
I have learned that keeping a consistent schedule is really hard. I’m not sure it’s actually possible for me to do this everyday, not while I’m at home not really doing anything, at least.
1/5/12
An important part of the day is the end of it, right before you go to sleep. No matter how late it is, do not sleep right after working or being emotionally riled. Take some time in a dimly lit room and do something relaxing: listen to music, Sudoku, etc. It’ll do wonders for you in the morning and you’ll feel quite relaxed in the morning.
Try to keep your bed only as a place to sleep. Doing work in your bed will make your brain associate it with work rather than rest, which will make it harder to sleep.
1/4/12
There really is no such thing as “natural talent” after a certain point. All of these people who seem to be really skilled at what they do weren’t just born with that ability. They had to practice a ton and work really hard at their trade. At lower skill levels, things like talent may matter, but at a professional level, work ethic triumphs.
Also practice doesn’t have to do with the number of hours, it’s still about quality. People who practice well never sound good when they practice, because they’re rehearsing what they’re awful at in order to get better. The better a person sounds during practice, the slower they are improving.
If you’re having doubts about this as you read it, just keep in mind that none of this is necessarily verifiable, but it’s the best mindset to have.
1/3/12
With emotions, the natural instinct is to assume that they all have some sort of basis, but this isn’t necessarily true. How many times have you walked out of an exam that you bombed and not really didn’t feel that bad? Or walk out of an exam that you did well in, but still feel kind of tense?
Emotions happen, and aren’t always possible to rationalize, which I think is a really important part of coping with them sometimes. At times, they can give off very strong physiological responses that can be very intimidating, and for no reason. However, it is important to simply acknowledge that they exist, and then move on. Just because you may suddenly feel very tense and worried, does not mean that something is actually wrong. Try not to associate any particular event with random negative emotions, because it will simply intensify it.
Which kind of leads to another point. If you have a lot of work to do or are feeling really stressed out, it’s actually incredibly useful to just take about 15 minutes to really worry a lot of about everything, before finally cooling down and getting back to work.
Don’t let emotions run your life, and don’t let yourself try to establish control over them. The relationship between emotions and rationality is not a battle but more like a dance.
1/2/12
Your understanding of something or someone (will be focusing on the someone part) is kind of like a puzzle made up of only square pieces, sort of like a mosaic, where each fact represents a single tile. There’s an infinite number of setups that could allow for a picture, some obviously make more sense than others, but most of them have some holes in them, because it’s really impossible to know absolutely every detail on a certain subject. What your brain kind of does is that it will automatically configure all of pieces (facts) into some sort of picture (general understanding), and more importantly, it will fill in the blanks on its own to make the picture more clear (your brain adds in its own assumptions), which I’ll refer to as “assumed pieces.” And we can assume that there exists some kind of “completed” picture that is very obvious, once we have every single puzzle piece, but realistically, it’s rather unattainable.
What happens is that when you learn a new fact about something, you get a new piece, and you have to find some way to fit it into the existing picture. The proper response would be to deconstruct the entire puzzle, reconstruct it with the new pieces that you have, and have as few assumed pieces as possible, because you are not entirely sure whether those actually exist or not (you don’t know if they’re true). The fewer assumed pieces that exist, the more accurate your image will be.
Rather, what people tend to do, because it is much easier, and takes up less of our brain’s resources, is to simply find a way to shove the new piece into the puzzle, and then construct many more assumed pieces in order to allow for it to fit. Chances are, this will make the final picture somewhat inaccurate; how likely will it be that all of your assumed pieces will be exactly the same as existing ones that you are unaware of?
To put this is less theoretical terms, say you learn that a person is an alcoholic. The first things that might come to mind: the person does not care about their body, has no willpower/is lazy because they won’t just stop drinking, has no concern for self-image, etc.
It is equally possible that the person started drinking because of some incredibly stressful moment in their life, and had no other way of coping. They also could have very subject to peer pressure because of low self esteem, and simply ended up drinking out of habit after a long time.
Not to say that these are good or bad reasons for drinking because that’s not relevant, but if you want to make assumptions on people, it doesn’t make sense to choose to accept certain facts as true and not others. Notice that each of these things could be true, and you have no way of verifying any of them without actually finding out. The only thing that you actually know is, “That person is a drinker,” and it makes no sense to put in all of those other assumptions, because you don’t actually know whether they are true.
This is a very long-winded and more physical way of saying, give people the benefit of the doubt, don’t make assumptions, and don’t pass judgement onto people. Rather, take the time to really get to understand something, look at all of the pictures that could come out of the pieces that you have for certain, and use as few of those “assumed pieces” as possible.
1/1/12
It’s not a bad idea to just write a list of stuff that you really like, occasionally look at it, and think about how much like all of that stuff and why. It can be surprisingly uplifting and refreshing.
Relationships with people are about finding a medium between being vulnerable enough that you’re willing to put yourself out there, but slightly withdrawn, such that you keep yourself interesting to the other person. The kind of people who tend to be “loners” are those who are either really shy or insecure about themselves, or just so content in who they are that they don’t see the need to try to attract other people to them. More importantly, people who tend to stick to themselves aren’t necessarily distant, nor do they always need to be “fixed.”
If you take a look at all of the relationships in your life, you might find that there are some people that are really negative, put you down quite a bit, and really aren’t all that much fun to be around. Keeping relationships going for the sake of keeping them going is a bit silly, and if you’re finding that some people aren’t really of benefit to you, there’s no need to keep them around. It’s weird to think of relationships in terms of “What does this do for me?” but it’s probably one of the healthiest ways to think about them.
12/31/11
I learned that writing or speaking about your thoughts, regardless of how clearly you believe you can think about them, is so important. When you read or hear your thoughts, you’ll suddenly see them in a different light.
I learned that it’s really nice to wake up really early in the morning (5-6 AM) and take some time for yourself to do something leisurely that you enjoy, so that when you go off to your job or class, you’ll be in a very good mood.
Also, do stupid things to make yourself happy, like writing messages on your window/mirror, adding compliments in the body of an email when you send attachments to yourself, and make yourself smile for no reason.
And Happy New Years!
12/30/11
I learned today that it’s important for a person to forgive themselves and not be too hard on themselves after all is done and nothing can really be fixed. It’s important to try to stay positive, and that sometimes bad things just happen and to not dwell over it for too long, because “Everything happens for a reason” doesn’t always apply.
But in addition to all this, there’s nothing wrong with just sitting down and sulking and being really sad. I honestly think just letting yourself be mopey is seriously underrated.
Also, I learned first-hand, the fruits of a philosophy I’ve had, which is that if I take a few hours out of my life every week to make other people happier, then it’s possible for me to have a positive impact on all the people around me, which can only be exponential if they’re able to have that effect on more people.
In addition, I learned that when I’m at home, download as many books as I can so that I have plenty to read while I’m in college. Be curious, and pursue things you find fascinating
